Talk your children dating after divorce

“If you have a friend who has a great relationship with her ex, talk to her and ask her what advice she has.” Many people have unrealistic expectations about whether they can afford to buy out their partner’s share in the home.

Talk to someone who can give you a sense of what your house is worth.

Talk to someone you trust about what they’ve gained and lost through their own divorce — while recognizing that your situation (and how you want to deal with it) may be different.

Paris cautions against asking others whether they think you should end your relationship and instead suggests focusing on questions that can help you make a better, more informed decision on your own.

“If you’re going to go through all the work of a divorce, you should get some personal growth out of it,” she says.

“It’s almost like a waste of a divorce if you don’t, because, really, do you want to just repeat the same problems all over again with someone else? If you still have feelings for your spouse, a couples therapist may be able to help.

You may want to seek out a certified divorce financial analyst or chartered financial divorce specialist, who can offer specialized expertise and advice on issues like alimony, child support and post-divorce living expenses.

An initial consultation with a family lawyer can give you a realistic assessment of your specific circumstances, such as what you’ll likely be able to negotiate with your spouse, and what assets you’ll be in a position to keep.

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“In a traditional divorce, when lawyers are speaking for clients, you can end up with a game of broken telephone,” she adds.Mediator and conflict coach Brook Thorndycraft says some of her clients have taken the average of quotes from three separate realtors (or they have headed straight to a home appraiser and pay for an assessment).Research shows that kids aren’t necessarily damaged by divorce: About 80 percent of children adapt well and experience no lasting negative effects on mental health, school grades or social adjustment.The end of a marriage can be stressful enough: A psychiatric scale developed in the 1960s rates divorce as the second most challenging life event, ranking it higher than a jail term or the death of a family member (the most stressful is the death of a spouse).It makes sense to avoid adding work-related anxiety to your emotional trauma.

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