Whether this means approaching the woman herself or her father or someone filling that role instead of her father, it should be the guy that starts things off.As I mentioned, he should not do this until he is "ready" to marry.It is simply God's design and assignment of equally valuable roles among spiritually equal beings. Briefly, biblical support for this position is found, among other passages, in the creation order in Genesis 2, in 1 Corinthians 11: 7-9, and Ephesians 5.True, these passages refer to marriage, but it is wise and right to set patterns that will serve you well in marriage, especially if one accepts the premise that the purpose of dating is to find a marriage partner.Second, are you at a place in your life at which you are ready and able to marry?As I've written on this site before, "practice" and "recreation" are not good reasons to date.
See what an unsatisfying bumper-sticker treatment that was? Among the different roles assigned to men and women in the Bible, men are assigned the role of leadership. This is not a signal of male superiority or of the greater importance of men.But if you're out of college and do not feel specifically called to singleness for biblical reasons, why are you not looking to be married? Albert Mohler has talked about a growing culture in society and in our churches of perpetual boyhood; some psychologists call it the "Peter Pan syndrome." As I said, in the Bible, marriage and family are considered a natural stage of progression toward manhood. Part of your role even at this early stage is to protect the woman of your interest from unnecessary risk and vulnerability by providing a safe context in which she can respond.The command in Genesis to be fruitful and multiply is a general command. As it is the man's God-given role to initiate, so it is the woman's God-given role to respond.Once he determines he is ready to be married generally, and once he has found a particular woman he is interested in pursuing, our single man's next step is to "put some feelers out." He should talk to some of her friends, see if she's been asking about him, have one or two subtly suggestive conversations with her to see if she gives anything away.... In his Boundless article, "Real Men Risk Rejection," Michael Lawrence eloquently summarizes both the objections some men might raise to this idea, and, in my view, the ideal response: 'Wait a minute. As single men need to learn how to lead (whether they like it or not), single women need to learn what it is to let a man assume spiritual leadership in the relationship — and to respond to that leadership.Ultimately, this means learning to trust God's goodness and sovereignty.